Twice in a row now!!! My BunnyMunchkin has grabbed the first honors. Consequently, she is the recipient of the Excellence Award. Way-back Kindergarten, she finished with third honors. I will not lie about being most proud and happy of her.
She is extremely happy about herself and her achievements. In fact, she intends to hoard more medals…LOL!!! (I just kid her about being a medal-hoarder…some personal joke). I still tell her it’s not all about the winning, the medals, nor the rank.
It has not been an easy journey for her and me. Although, she has always been competitive and has shown smarts, she was a bit complacent to begin with; until, she felt the pain of defeat. She was so upset. It was a school pageant, where she wanted most to get the “Miss Talent” title. I remember observing her the admiration in her eyes when she watched the little girl who bagged the title performs. Nonetheless, there was that frustration and bit of envy in her eyes during the awarding.
When she lost and felt sad, I knew this is a good thing! It meant that she cared and that it meant something to her. That was the teaching moment. We helped her see through the whole thing. We helped her understand that it is not all about the winning.
Then again, there was her moving up during Kindergarten. She was happy to receive many medals as she was the class’s third honors. But she wanted to be first. It was a bit of losing for her too. When kids lose, they must learn from their mistakes, fix things that aren’t just right, and keep moving forward. I asked her to think about what may have been the first honors’ better practices than hers. She gave me a few. From those comparison and contrast of practices she knew what made her classmate worthy. I want her to master accepting defeat and learning the lessons of that defeat.
I believe that was where the magical life lesson to truly improve and keep learning began. That was when she began to be prepense and purposive. She learned goal-setting. ( I will be writing about this topic in the next weeks…)
Teaching Moment: Losing and feeling upset means that our children cared and that it meant something to them. We should try not to immediately dismiss the sadness and frustration. Let us help them understand what made them lose and what mistakes could they have done. From there we help them fix those wrongs and move forward.