Whoever said motherhood is “easy – breezy” is not a mom! Seriously, life being a mother is tough. I have recently read an article saying that motherhood equates to two and a half full-time jobs. But I won’t vouch on the accuracy of that. It still feels way beyond two and a half for me…and I just have one child! Hah!!! Life continues to mock me. I give as much attention as I can, and she tells me, I am not paying attention. Duh?!? My head sometimes go, “This kid is too demanding.” But I think fifteen minutes ain’t too hard to chill. Fifteen minutes in a full day to honestly get down, get immersed, be in the moment with our children.
I originally saw this a couple of years ago. It advises a mere nine minute a day. I want to linger a bit longer. Who doesn’t need more breathing space, anyway. Now, I’ll be honest with you; I don’t ALWAYS get this done the way I want it. There are just some days when I cannot put myself as mindful as I intend to be. But that’s a thing with mindfulness, we accept that we are not perfect. We accept that we will err. We humbly accept what we fail at and we mindfully give it another try…and then, another; until we are more constant at it.
So, as I said I want it a little longer, so I am choosing to advocate fifteen minutes in a day cause it ain’t too hard to chill for that time being. Fifteen minutes divided into three particular moments of our day and of our children. They say there are three moments in a day where we create an enormous impact on our children. What we need to do then, is to remember these moments and try to use five minutes on each moment to be fully present and aware of our children, our conversation and the emotion we pour on those moments.
So, what are these three moments in a day?
WAKING UP MOMENT
The first three minute after our children wake up creates an impact on them. It sets a mood for them to bank their day on. The better they feel upon waking up, the better they feel throughout the day. And yes, it is a tricky hour.
For most moms, waking up the kids, especially on a weekday, spells C-H-A-O-S. Moms, get frantic with the thought of their children getting late for school or for the bus service. We worry that they might not have enough time to even have a decent breakfast! And oh goodness, breakfast is the most important meal in a day. We have tons of things to do too and we might not get into watching time for them; hence, they’d end up late. If we stand to watch, then, we get our To-Do list on a wait…and there is much to accomplish.
Halt! Breathe mommy, breathe.
Fifteen minutes ain’t too hard to chill. And all you need now is five. Yes, just five. So…drop the worry. Let’s be with our children. And let’s admit that we too don’t want to get up with a nagging, hovering and frantic wake-up call. Try to collect the best calm. Let’s get the five minutes after they wake up done.
Uhm…yeah, we can be the loud speaker when we call their attention. The moment we see them up; let’s breathe. Let’s smile. Let’s have a placid five minutes to just be with them. Nah…let’s not be phony jerks smirking with pretense and lie. Just try to be as calm as we possibly can. Let’s bask in the moment that we are with someone who means the world and more to us. And, depending on how child is wired; you may talk a bit or just be in silence. But be there, make them feel that you are there and that today is going to be a good day for them…and you too.
Now…the five minutes is up! Get back to your grind Mommy. You can choose your chase. If you want a wild-goose one; then go ahead. If you prefer to be fleeting-in-a-song one, just do so (and I give you a decent curtsy).
A whole day is done for our children. The next three minutes are as crucial. The three minutes upon reaching home.
HOME FROM SCHOOL
Every child is different, and their life stage make it even more of a consideration. Some children appreciate having talks. Some don’t. Some wants to be ask how their day was in school. Others don’t want to be bothered by such snooping questions. Some kids wants a hug, a handshake, a snack or a milkshake. But everyone want to feel loved and secured after a long day. We want that too don’t we?
Again; fifteen minutes ain’t too hard to chill. And all you need now is five. Just another five minutes of being present and available after a full day.
If you have not been into these things, our children might feel a bit annoyed by our presence. Let it be. It will sink in to them as time goes by. It will sink into them, that you are there and available for them if they need you. Now, if you are a working mom; how’d you spend five minutes with them? There are many ways. Tap into your creative side or tech side. This is one lovely use of our present day technology.
The next few hours are for whatever needs to be done – for both you and your child.
Wow Mom! That was ten minutes well-spent with your child already. The day is almost done. The last crucial three minutes is before bedtime. And let’s linger a bit to make that five.
Five before bed is a good window time for you and your child to close and wrap-up a day. You can read a book. Tell stories. Take that milk and biscuit/cookie. Just five minutes Mommy. Just five. Just be there a little while. Remember, fifteen minutes ain’t too hard to chill; you’ve done well today.
At some days, this goes so smooth. On other days, it’s an E for effort. Big effort as that! But just get into the habit of it, anyway. It is beneficial for our children. That matters most.
I, on one end, have found myself benefiting from it too. I get my window breaks. I get to look forward to something. I become more mindful of where I put my energy to. I become conscious of when I am panicking for something that will not matter in five years. I become more forgiving of myself and my child too.
Motherhood is not always easy, we owe it to ourselves to lighten our load. Nine minutes…better I spend fifteen minutes which ain’t really too hard to chill. It’s a small window, in fact. But it goes along way; both for us moms and our children.