Nowadays, a lot more women seem to be lured to that badge of “Supermom”. It aptly is a complex. Supermoms feel the need to juggle all the demands of family, work and relationships without an inch of failure. Supermoms want to have all those balls suspended and spinning in mid-air as they juggle. It can be an impossible task! The pressure that we place on ourselves to be perfect can be overwhelming.
Keeping up with the Jones’s has just gotten into a higher level! Modern society amplifies this whole game with the Jones’s by increasingly pushing more and more people into portraying their lives as a glossy magazine. Updates on social media with flawless images of what their live is like seem mandatory. It is highly likely that we get nosy questions for posting something less perfect as having a pile of home junk behind your kid as he/she plays.
Being Supermom can actually put us on a toll. Hence, we put the cape out and simplify life. Besides, no one can ever do everything perfectly on her own. It’s time Supermom puts her cape out. Let’s begin:
- Tell Yourself: “I Cannot Do Everything All On My Own, All At Once.”
Yup, we call can’t. Expecting to do it all by ourselves very quickly will only tire us out double time. There are two elemental things we need to consider here. One is the amount of work; the other, the amount of time to do the work. The key is to pace the work against your available time. Work on a schedule. Others may need to write them down, set alarms until the habit sinks in.
One thing I love about this is that it often leads under-promising BUT over-delivering. Let’s go easy on ourselves and take pride in all that we do.
- Make Each Moment Count.
Cliché? I don’t mean to be. Let’s be honest, trying to be Supermom gets our attention on all of the many things we have to do (and do “perfectly well”). We forget to be in present and in the moment. It’s not much of the quantity of task we accomplish, but the quality of each. Our children will never remember (may not even pay attention) to how many things you had to do. But they will likely remember how special the time was that you spent together. They will remember that connection they felt with you. So, make a note of this the next time you feel the weight of your cape. Make the decision to put it out, put down in the closet for a while. Simply, be with your children.
- Learn to say, NO.
I have read about swapping the yes/no ratio. It encourages to swap the proportion of our yeses to our nos. Doing so will allow us, moms to think and consider the time we are comfortably able to spend doing the things that benefit ourselves and our families, versus the time we spend on other people or tasks.
This is not selfishness. As they now say, “No” is the new “yes”. This is wisdom.
However, I see you, it does it go against the grain of being a Supermom. That’s OK. Remember, it is the key when trying to accept that we cannot add more hours to the day.
Another thing I read is about re-scripting the NOs. Like:
“I can’t say yes to your request.” This line gets people off guard because they will likely expect an excuse. But instead, you just say that one line.
Or, “I don’t have time right now, but let me recommend someone else.”
- Learn to Ask Help or Delegate Tasks.
Oh yes! This does not let the power diminish. It gives you more time to focus on things you need to deal with and give more attention to. So, go ahead, we can choose to outsource or ask for help from within the family members. Again, it is vital that we are able to pick and choose what is manageable to accomplish and then give it our all.
- Ditch the Mom-guilt
All these may trigger our mom guilt. Half of working moms feel guilty that they don’t spend enough time with their children. The, we have half of stay-at-home moms feeling guilty that they are not contributing financially. Truth is, most moms in general feel guilty about the house not being clean enough or raising their voice too frequently. However, guilt takes a toll on us. Instead, we must try our best to be in the moment and accept that we are doing our best.
- Practice Forgiveness on Ourselves
Do I still need to say that we, as moms, are so tough on ourselves?
So, as hard as it is to do, we need to try our best to forgive ourselves. We do try to forgive the other people in our family and in our lives, why not ourselves?
Accept that some moments are harder than others, and sometimes we won’t be proud of the way we handle things. But if we are doing the best we can, in each particular moment, we need to go easy on ourselves. Remember, that we are giving our best already. Then, practice forgiveness for those times we don’t meet our high mommy standards.
The whole idea of putting the Supermom cape out and simplifying life is to help us realize that we don’t have to be everything to everyone. When we let go and let others pitch in, we take stress off your lives. That’s when we live a happier and more fulfilled life.