Much of our lives are pretty much illusions to those who look at it. The life on it’s own is an existing stimulus but the whole story of it is left on the other person’s perception and interpretation. And yet, quite common, people judge from their interpretation and not from the facts of the stimulation. Truth is, the illusion of an easy life is a convenient access to those who do not fully understand.
Let me remind you that ” you look and see that “life is easy-peasy” for her. You forgot you are ONLY LOOKING. You aren’t doing what she does. You don’t live her life.” It is always easier to look, watch and create commentaries than to do and live it out.
Let me also remind you another thing; some people have learned to master the illusion of making it look easy but don’t be quick to assume. Most often, the illusion of an easy life is only in your head. It wasn’t even anything she gave.
Parenting is not any easy job. Doing it single-handedly is more of a challenge.
I hear of couples saying life is tough and everyone easily agrees. I hear of many single parents, moms especially, saying life is tough and gets blamed for it. Some get disbelieving looks.
Most solo parents, did not dream of doing it on their own. They courageously chose to do it anyway. It’s not easy-peasy; but we are keeping the stride on.
I have had a time in my life when I got blamed. I got criticized for not doing anything. I got told that I could economically manage anyway.
Yes, I got blamed for trusting a partner into marriage and family life. I got blamed for his abuse. I got criticized for not moving forward and for sulking in the pain. I was perceived well-off enough, educated enough to maneuver easily.
It is normal to trust and hope into a loving marriage and family life. It is normal and a lot better to embrace the pain and sadness. It is all right to move slowly and not do as others tell me do so. It is my life and my child’s; not theirs. No, I don’t mint my own cash enough to breeze it as you thought.
The illusion of an easy life is only in the other person’s head. To be more specific about it, it is only in the critics’ heads.
The people who take time to look, listen, feel and understand will know that it is not an easy life altogether. We have simply decided not to fuss more and breathe in between. Hence, the illusion of an easy life. There are people who will see, hear, feel and understand beyond what is outright visible. They will be most willing to embrace us too. They will see the courage, the stitches, the bandages and all. They will love us anyway and will believe in what we are trying to do, no matter how vaguely we can put it on the platter for them.
Keep stitching solo-mom. Let them criticize. Let them mock you about the “easy life”. Let their noise be drowned by the love of those who truly care. The illusion of the easy life is only in their head. We make it look easy amidst all the challenges, pains and triumphs. Head on and let them be. We make it look easy and breezy cause we are courageous and tough. Salute!
That said…hands down now…moving on.